Monday, June 25, 2007

BIG *sigh* and some whining.



I think that I am coming off a "high" or something from this past weekend as I really have the 'blah - blahs' today. Not sure, but whatever it is, it has zapped my energy and I hardly seem to even want to smile today. Sucks.

Before I start in on my whining (sorry) I wanted to share a picture of my sis and I with our Mom from yesterday afternoon. We drove over to Pocatello and visited with her in the new assisted living facility she is in. Beautiful place, like a big mansion on the hill type home, just a few residents, very homey. Mom seems happy. I just worry so much about her, everyday there is that thought that we might get a call that something has happened to her. It stinks. She is so dang cute though, I just wanted to share this photo of Lisa and I with her.

OK big FAT whine right now. Today was my weigh in day. Mondays always are. I weigh myself all through the week but I only track my Monday wiegh ins and they are the ones that "count" to me. Well, for weeks upon weeks now I have been pushing forward to get to the 50 lb loss mark. I have been SO SO close, less than 2 lbs away and I thought for sure that today, beging Monday, I would finally hit it. NO. Not only did I not hit it, I was UP 2 lbs from last weeks weigh in! I about lost it right there in the bathroom this a.m. So pathetic! The thing is, I have not made the "best" food choices but I have not made the worst either - AND - I have been busting my butt to the max at the gym and so I don't know why I am not losing. It is just killing me. I am so close. I have been SO close for SO stinking long now. I am so flustered and upset. A friend of mine's Mom has some motivational weight loss cd's she is going to let me use, maybe they will help. I keep thinking if I am not in the right state of mind then of course I won't be able to lose. So much of it is emotions. I truly believe that. On another thought, I am in this whole process over 9 months now and I wonder if I have truly hit the infamous "plateau" that everyone talks about?? If so, what to do to jumpstart myself again? It is not lack of motivation or want, that is for sure. I think my body is just slowing down on me?? I am about 1/3 of the way there (as far as how much I want to lose) and so maybe I need to do something to boost me over this hurdle? Whatever it is, I better figure it out soon! :O(

Darla

2 comments:

Ruth.E said...

You can do this Darla, dont loose sight of the goal. Shaking it up could just been trying something different or working out at a different time. Can you ask for help on this one from someone at the gym? We are all behind you.
R.

CmyEarth said...

Darla, you don't know how many people's lives you are touching with your blog. Your honesty each step of the way is what so many of us need-the ups and the downs. Seeing you go through the downs but continuing on helps get me through my downs. So I know you will make it through yours with the help of your great support team that is there for you. Listen to their ideas and then make your changes. It WILL happen for you. There are people you have never even met praying for you!