Angry at myself

I cannot believe I have done this to myself and I just am going to have to get mad and get busy! This photo was from my lowest weight back in July, when I hit my much awaited and blood and sweat worked for 50 lbs gone. (it is not a great photo but you can see how happy I was with myself)
So, since that time I have wavered between the 45-50 lb mark up until my surgery in Sept when I started making excuses for myself. Slowly I am creeping up till' I am at 40-45 lbs rather than 50... my morning workouts have gone to nadda and my eating has gone back out of control. I so have not worked this hard for this long to just go back to the old me. I don't want to go back to the old me and I don't want to FEEL like the old me.
Last week a friend challenged me to do a Couch to 5K program with her, and I have been doing it - meanwhile gorging my face with every piece of Halloween candy that entered our doors along with tons and tons of poor food choices. DUMB! I didn't even want to eat it - I just did. That is what stinks about being an over-eater like I am, it is not even a thought process, it is just food in mouth, chew, swallow. I hate feeling out of control of that.
This morning I woke up and weighed myself for my Monday charting... I was very very unhappy with what I saw. I decided then and there that I will NOT be gaining one more lb of this weight back and I WILL be going back to doing all the good things that I was before. Morning workouts, better foods, plenty of water and so on.
Today has been good - good food choices, good workout and positive attitude. I am better than what I have been treating myself and I am worth every ounce of effort I put forth?!
So.... I am doing this - if you see me - cheer me on! I can do this! Totally CAN DO THIS!

Darla

**EDITED**
I DID go to the gym today and did my Couch to 5K workout AND I made amazinly wonderful food choices ALL day long! No cheats! Not one tiny teeny little one, I was good ALL day! :O)