So here is what is "going on".

I have been a whiney boob this past week. So sorry. I am usually pretty upbeat and optimistic but it all just sort of seeped out of me over the past several days and thus the not so happy Darla you are hearing from. Again, I am sorry if I am bringing anyone down. Since I have had 1001 requests as to what it is that is going on, I figured I would just lay it all out for you guys to read. I was not going to share it all as I was feeling a little antsy about it, but I also am starting to feel like if I don't "let go" of some of what it is, I may just implode! So, here goes.

Back in 1991-1992 after I had Christopher I started having episodes of bad stomach pain. Turned out I had to have my gall bladder removed. I was not one of the lucky ones, I had to have a full surgery (have the 7 inch scar to prove it) and it was quite the ordeal! During the recovery, we found out that I had thyroid problems. Hypothyroidism, or Hashimotos Disease. So, at that time they put me on a synthetic thyroid replacement and that was that. Over the years, I have had my obgyn docs update, change, and so on with my levels of meds, but overall I have not had a lot of troubles with it. Honestly I just sort of felt like it was just something I had to live with.
So now fast forward to Jan of this year(2007). I went to my regular Dr for a yearly exam and got updated on everything healthwise. Since I have been working out and doing health and fitness and losing wieght I figured that I should get on top of things. At that time the Dr had stated that my thyroid was a bit enlarged and re-ran some tests, we found out that my thyroid levels were really bad, REALLY bad. So, the Dr put me on a new dose of meds. Also at this time we found out my blood pressure was really high and I started on some meds for that too. Well, after a few weeks we re-ran tests and found that I was on the right dose of medications and all seemed well again.
Since it had been 6 months, I went back to the Dr for a re-check on my blood pressure and the Dr noticed that my thyroid glands were really swollen again. Even more than back in Jan. So, he sent me for an ultrasound where we found that they were actually swollen to about twice the size as they were originally in January. Also found that they are pushing on my vocal cords and esophogus and just getting larger- why? who knows. However, the longer we wait the bigger it gets and that poses more problems including a more complicated surgery in the end. There is a nodule mass in there but it does not "look suspicious" but since there is pressure building on my organs inside he sent me to an ENT surgeon who totally SHOCKED me when he said that I need to have a total thyroid removal. WHAT? Yea.
So, totally not planning on hearing this, I was rather shocked and upset. This was last week and I am still sorting it out in my head. Walking around in denial of sorts? So this week I get to work on plans for who/what/where/when for that surgery and I am really quite flustered. Top this off with my Mother getting really ill and going on a Hospice program, and well, I am pretty much a wreck. I am sure I'll be fine, but still upset nonetheless. Needing a good cry that just is not coming out... so weird bc I am such a crybaby usually!

BIG thanks to those who have expressed concern and love to me, I will keep you updated on what is going on. Sorry for the book, but wanted to explain it all in detail. Thanks again.
Darla