Just let me whine... please.

Today is one of those days....I just need to whine.

I think that we all have them, those classic no good, down right awful,
rotten very bad days? You know, the ones where you wake up and think
"Wow! What a bright and beautiful day!!" And then you go to get out of bed
and stub your toe, then you walk dazed and cussing to the bathroom only
to find it is occupied. Then, you think to yourself..."nah... it is going to be
ONE of those days." Well, that is me. I woke up in a silly mood, playful and
ready to conquer the chores of the day but as it progressed so did my mood,
in a downward spiral of grouchiness.

I suppose I could bore you with all the details, but in reality, it is just a bit
of everything. Some days are just that way. I sometimes feel like I am
walking through this life with a big sticker on my back that says KICK ME!
I will admit I am not a real strong person, I take everyone's crap and just
sit back and smile. It's all good. It's all good. Yeah, sure, OK, whatever you
want...sure, no biggie, yeah, sure, OK, uh huh, yup, that's me! I am a YES
MAY'M kinda gal... GAG!! I guess what really gets me, is inside I am thinking
SCREW YOU IDIOT!! But I never say it. LOL What a wussy! Well, some
days I just want to crawl in a hole and tell the world off...but I don't. Some
days I feel completely useless to anyone, my dh, my kids, my sisters, and
even my friends. I know that I am not, but I just feel like sometimes I can
not do ANYTHING right... today is sorta one of those days. Whine...

Yup, I am going to keep going...there is more. What is up with not only my
self esteem...but my BIG OL' LAZY ASS LACK OF SELF DISCIPLINE???
I have all these goals... home, family, self, and why is it I can't seem to get
one step in the right direction? UGH! I am a planner, love to write it out,
put it on paper, make a chart, a list, whatever...if I spent half the time DOING
what I write down...good God I'd be a gorgeous - rich - perfect - wife/mom!!
HA HA HA Like THAT will ever happen. C'mon, get real, I need a serious
kick in the ass from someone... who? me? Kick my OWN ass? Uhhhh remember
I am a big wuss. Guess I'll have to think on that one some more?

And last but not least ... I feel like crap. My back aches everyday...as does my knee.
I am tired all the time, I am getting more frequent headaches...lately I have just
felt achey all over!! I am one gigantic ball of stress and tired pain. I keep thinking
if I increase my water, take out the pop and sugar and add a few min of walking I
would feel 100x better...but I try it and that dang "lack of self control" kicks in and
I dont' get too far. No wonder I am so bummered out... I just feel like crap all the time.

OK whining done. Aside from I am REALLY dreading the upcoming weeks. I wont' go
there yet though.....too much to even think about. *SIGH* OK Time to buck up, it is
date night and I get to go play the "happy girl" for a while! HA HA