Cold - Tired - Living in Black and White

I am so tired of the cold, ice, snow and wind. I am ready for spring.
I am tired. Period, just tired. I need to ramp up my energy - get out there and run and workout. Emotionally exhausted but just tired.
I feel like I am living in black and white right now. Black thoughts, deep, dreary thoughts. White days. Going through the motions, doing what "I am supposed to do" and being a good person. Living in black and white is not what I want to be doing, it is not who I am.
I want to be happy and warm and in color. I want to feel vibrant and bold and speak out. I want to be honest with myself. I need to figure out "who" I am right now.
No more cold
no more tired
no more black and white.

not broken

I am not broken.
I don't need fixed.
I don't need told what to do.
I dont' need fixed.
I need to hold my head high.
I need to be strong in my decisions and not let others sway me.
I am not a doormat. I am not a pushover.
I can do this. In my own time in my own way.
Just be my friend, support me and let me discover how strong I really can be.
I am not broken.

loving this song right now - could listen to it for hours, her voice is just haunting beautiful

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHQo4s1-lQIChristina Perri - Jar Of Hearts lyrics | LyricsMode.com



Christina Perri - Jar Of Hearts lyrics

Christina Perri
Jar Of Hearts lyrics
I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And learn to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are
Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

no jogging

it's cold
bitter windy icy cold
even though it says it's 36 degrees out?
what the heck?

chili in the crockpot cooking all day - yes!
housework and laundry for my day "off" work....
kids home from school too (Martin Luther King Jr day)

and one more layout to share

another layout!

this was in las vegas - chris has this thing about woody from toy story so we just had to take adv of the photo op... there ia a funny story that goes along with it but overall, he got his moment of fame on las vegas blvd with woody

I LOVE Jillian Michaels.... LOVE Donna Downey!

*LOVE this photo from Donna Downey* Inspires me often!!







THIS was on her (Jillian's) FB page this morning, loved it!

Tip:There's no such thing as failure. There's only feedback. Stop judging yourself & start recognizing it for what it is, an entry point for learning. The truth is, if you're not failing then you're not really reaching & really trying. If you don't like the outcome of a situation, learn from it, make corrections & reapproach wiser & stronger until you achieve your goals. Success is in big part a matter of attrition.

I "tried" a jog this morning. Beautiful 30 degrees but we have this lovely drizzling mist-like rain going on and it has put a nice crispy "crust" of ice on top of EVERYTHING... just enough to make it slicker than snot!!! So, I went for 35 min, about a mile and a half or so but was sliding all over EVEN with my treads so I gave up and headed home. My run time was comprable to yesterday so at least I am working on it! Feeling GOOD! Ready to start big plans for training - woot!

BIG weigh in at the Church tomorrow morning. I debated on joining the group again and decided I needed to have the motivation. So, Christy and I have this 'secret' drive together to show em' all up! LOL

OK better get to work!
HAPPY FRIDAY!

a new layout and I jogged!

good news, I went for my morning jog today! woot! it was cold and grey and dreary out but the temps were up to 24 degrees AND there was no wind so I went...it was great! did almost 3 miles and increased my jog time by 2 min more than last time!







also, here is another layout from the retreat back in October... my beautiful daughter Dani and her boyfriend going to Homecoming. I LOVE this layout, love the colors, the placement, the flowers, all of it. I love how it came out!

no jog

by the time I got off work, hit the bank and drove home it was 5:30 and the sun was down and although the temps were 20 plus degrees the sun was gone and it was COLD out
so
i
caved
and
bailed
and
skipped my jog
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR not cool










so tommorrow morning, 20 degrees + or not, i am going! I have to get training! HAVE TO!

otherwise I was a good girl today, followed my foods plan and got a strength training workout in this morning too

i am OK with that!

...another layout....

I really loved this layout - it was super simple but the photo is so fun. This was at the beach in Calif during our vacation last summer. We spent one whole afternoon at Newport Beach and every single one of us just thrived on the sun and fresh air and beach water and scenery! Tiff was absolutly adoreable playing in the water and sand. This is in my "top 10" photos of our whole vacation!!! I used some Daisy D's papers and all sorts of ribbons and goodies along with a modgepodge of stickers - mostly leftovers from other projects!

In other news...getting my workouts in daily, feeling really good. Making awesome food choices and feeling motivated! The weather temps are supposed to perk up a bit so outdoor running in going to be back in the books too! Makes me SMILE!

D

MUCH better photo here....

OK I got my camera to work long enough to get some
decent photos of my layout and a few others I want to share.
I "stole" Robin's idea.... sharing my layouts I did last
Oct at the scrapbook retreat with the girls!!!
I have a ton to share so I'll spread them out over
a few days (like Robin did) and hopefully show you some fun pages!


Right now I am reposting the layout I did this past Sunday,
a much much much better photo of the layout and showing more
detail and then more to come!








Darla

a little knowledge

DisappointmentFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
For other uses, see Disappointment (disambiguation).

Disappointment expressed by a team of American football players commiserating after a defeat. Look up disappointment in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations to manifest. Similar to regret, it differs in that the individual feeling regret focuses primarily on the personal choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while the individual feeling disappointment focuses on the outcome itself.[1] It is a source of psychological stress.[2] The study of disappointment—its causes, impact and the degree to which individual decisions are motivated by a desire to avoid it—is a focus in the field of decision analysis,[1][3] as disappointment is one of two primary emotions involved in decision-making.[4]

“Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments.”
Henry W Beecher So, it's time to quit worrying about dissapointing OTHERS and worry about not disspointing MYSELF and looking for success for myself!

time to push myself

stop worrying about dissapointing other people
and start proving things to myself
no more dissapointing DARLA - cuz' I am the one
it matters the most to anyway, right???

what have I been doing

reality is, not much

I am wanting to make 2011 *THE* year but I just cant' seem to get myself moving to do it...I am motivated and pumped up and all that MENTALLY but I can't seem to get myself into a good groove physically.
I want to go workout. I tell myself I'll workout. Then I don't go.

I want to eat healthy and avoid sweets and junk and then I cave - much too easily.

I am eating a roma tomato for breakfast.



whooppeee.
that is after two cups of coffee with peppermint creamer.
see where I am going with this?
ugh!

So, I think I need to sit down,
WRITE IT OUT on paper and look
at it long and hard.
I need a plan to DO it
- not just say I am going to do it.

played with some paper and photos today...

**EDIT** ok so the photos are TERRIBLE crappy quality - so sorry, guess I need to rethink how I am going to share some layouts I have... LOL


haven't scrapbooked in a while, well, sorta, but anyway, I played a little today only to find out I had NO adhesive - glue dots, tape runner, sticky tabs, nuthin'... so I pulled out the brads and stapler and popdot squares and that is what I used - seriously that was all that held this page together LOL

photos suck, I used my blackberry phone camera LOL I am such a loser but hey? lol

also shared a photo of the sketch I used - was way off from the sketch but the base is there - sorta

so, there ya go, I got creative! wooot!!