backwards

JUST KEEP SWIMMING...

gotta keep in the right direction
gotta keep focus
no looking back
no mistakes over and over
did I not learn ANYTHING
the first time around?
gotta be a little selfish
and remember to put myself first
even if sometimes that means
hurting someone else before
I get hurt again --

ONCE shame on you
TWICE shame on me

I thought I had learned something
and that I was not the same person
anymore - I grew a tougher, stronger skin
or some crazy thing...?
Apparently not.
I tried to be strong and indifferent
and oblivious but I got sucked in.
I am not a person to put up walls.
I put one up for my own heart and brain -
it needed protected. I thought?
Not sure what to do or think now.

Just need to keep my focus on me
me me - self centered and selfishly
all about me - so wrong. so weird.
but something I need to do.